In the Mirror
by eternalsailorsolarwind
Summary: angsty introspection on Ichigo's part regarding his inner Hollow. And you know Shirosaki has to poke his head in to annoy Ichigo. Future fic, set post-War. Ichigo and Ogichi.


In the Mirror

by: youkaigirl AKA eternalsailorsolarwind

Disclaimer. _Bleach_ and all of its characters are owned by Tite Kubo, his Japanese publishers, and Viz. The quoted line of lyrics in this fic is from the song _Shitto (Kurid/Phantom Mix)_ which is owned/sung by Glay, and written and composed by Takuro (link to the song can be found on my LJ – see link in my profile). The line is quoted in italics, and are bracketed by . I own none of these things, just use the characters to play with, and the some of the quoted lyrics as the inspiration for this fic.

A/N: I've been playing with the imagery that I get from the one line of lyrics in this song for years, but haven't been able to actually write anything for it until now. An experimental bit of angsty introspection on Ichigo's part regarding his inner Hollow. And you know Shirosaki has to poke his head in to annoy Ichigo. Future fic, set post-War. Ichigo and Ogichi.

0o0o0o0o0o

_JEALOUS BEAST I'm in the mirror_

He hated looking into a mirror these days. Anything that might show a reflection, actually. Water, polished metal; hell, even the backside of a spoon could make him wince.

It wasn't that he was disfigured from all the years of war. While he had many scars, the few on his face were those that enhanced his looks rather than detracted from them. At least, that's what he read in the interested gazes of both women and men. No, his reasons for avoiding his reflection were far more frightening and complex than poor self-image.

_"Whattsa matter, King? It's rainin' in here again. Stop stressin' over things ya can't change."_

There was a monster inside him.

_"I'm hurt, King. I ain't no beast that goes around rippin' people apart like they was a rag doll or somethin'. I got finesse."_

He snorted in dark amusement. Finesse, he said. While it was true that Shirosaki Ogichi didn't _quite_ get his kicks by doing things like tearing the wings off flies, he wasn't exactly benign, either. The hollow inside him was a weird kind of cancer, trying to eat him up from within.

_"Oh, I'm a _parasite_ now, am I?" _The Hollow snorted, which echoed in his head. _"I'll remember that next time you need me. 'Sides, I ain't exactly like one o' them Alien-beasts. Ya don't gotta worry 'bout me bustin' out of yer gut, now do ya'? Stupid movie, anyway."_

At least he didn't have to worry about that. And he agreed that the movie was stupid. But that wasn't the point.

_"No? Then what is the point?"_

The constant struggle for control of his own body, for his sanity. That was the point. Every day, he had to be on guard against a sudden strike that might put the hollow in control.

_"That again? You made the deal, King. You knew this Horse bucks somethin' fierce."_

As true as that was, he got tired of facing down an envious hollow who was jealous of the very fact that he had a body.

_JEALOUS BEAST I'm in the mirror_

The hollow remained silent, so he knew he'd scored a point. Of course, this was a double-edged sword in itself. Scoring too many points on Ogichi inevitably led to an end-run around his defenses and another struggle for dominance.

_"Not much of a sneak attack if you're expectin' it, is it?"_

A flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye made him tense and glance up. A shudder ran through him before he could stop himself. The silent "conversation" his hollow was holding with him had made him forget about the mirror that had started this whole train of thought. He swallowed a gasp at his reflection.

Because it wasn't his. Ogichi was reflected back at him, a Gin-like grin on his face. The white _shihakusho_, along with the pasty skin and snow-colored hair made a mockery of his own tan skin and orange hair. But it was the eyes that were the worst.

His eyes were amber-colored. According to some they warmed to a deep coffee color, or could freeze to the color of mud in winter. Black where they should be white; those eyes glowed the red of an infernal flame. They were lit by hungers and desires completely alien to him, tastes that the word "perversion" wasn't strong enough for. Inhuman, evil eyes for an inhuman, evil creature.

That sharp, fox-like grin that reminded him so much of the former third division captain widened as the hollow looked him up and down. It grated on him like so many fingernails on a chalkboard.

_"Heh, I know what yer afraid of, Ichi-chan,"_ Ogichi taunted. _"Even more than the fear of failin' everyone and allowin' people to suffer."_

_This _was why he avoided his reflection. Seeing not himself, but his inner monster. His very own jealous beast in the mirror.

The hollow's lips twisted in a spurt of anger. _"Gonna call me that again, huh? Fine. Maybe next time you'll treat me with more respect."_

In the space of a heartbeat, Shirosaki began to drain away, leaving his own reflection behind. An image of an orange-haired man with tanned skin. A man whose amber eyes desired things that the word "perversion" wasn't strong enough for. Inhuman, evil eyes for an inhuman, evil creature.

_JEALOUS BEAST I'm in the mirror_


End file.
